7 signs that you are being narcissistically abused
Grandiose narcissism: The person not only sees himself as superior to others, but also tries to show this openly, to receive praise and to impress others. Aggression is a defense mechanism that this type of narcissist often uses.
Vulnerable narcissism: These people expect to be treated specially, and when their expectations are not met, they experience disappointment, a sense of victimization, and angry outbursts.
Clinical psychologist Mark Zaslav emphasized that childhood traumas play a role in the development of both types of narcissism. Children who are overly praised or constantly criticized, neglected or abused, can develop narcissistic tendencies when they cannot develop a healthy sense of self and emotional regulation skills.
According to experts at Psychology Today, narcissists try to know others before they know themselves, which prevents them from forming deep relationships.
Both types of narcissism share a sense of entitlement, but when these rights are not met, their reactions differ. While grandiose narcissists seek attention and elevate themselves, vulnerable narcissists complain about not being noticed. These reactions are actually ways of suppressing their inner insecurities.
Narcissists tend to see those around them not as individuals but as tools to meet their own needs. Their spouses should praise them; their children should make them proud of their successes; and their friends should constantly appreciate them. What is important is not true love or attention, but what they receive in return. Narcissists, who lack emotional empathy, often use the cognitive empathy they have as a tool for manipulation.
Belittling their partners, publicly embarrassing their children, damaging their reputation with lies that are close to the truth, and psychological manipulation methods such as gaslighting are the most common examples of narcissistic abuse.
According to a 2019 study, the following effects are seen in individuals exposed to narcissistic abuse:
- Traumatic attachment
- Cognitive dissonance
- Emotional detachment
- Hypervigilance
- Post-traumatic stress symptoms
- Social Isolation
- Thoughts of self-harm or suicide
- First of all, ensuring the safety of you and your children, if any, should be the priority.
- Narcissists often try to isolate their partners. Reestablish ties with your inner circle.
- If you are having trouble pulling yourself together, seek support from a professional.
- Realize your strength, don't blame yourself.
- Analyze situations where you failed to set boundaries in the past and develop ways to protect yourself in the future.
- Take note of the things that attracted you to the relationship in the beginning and how they hurt you over time. This will help you identify healthy relationships.
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