How to free yourself from stress? Experts recommend the LET THEM method

The new LET THEM method has recently begun to expand its group of supporters on social media, becoming the perfect "medicine" for perfectionists who have their entire lives organized to a ruler.

A strong need to control not only oneself but also others has a significant impact on one's mental health, especially when it is difficult to actually monitor the actions of others.

American motivational speaker Mel Robbins, who is considered to be a proponent of this trend, encourages everyone to allow others to live by their own rules. Not only for the good of your own psyche, but also to support good relationships with others. What is the theory of allowing?

Is saying “let them” really enough to regain peace of mind and healthy relationships?

When life control goes too far…

Modern life is a constant race against time, with many of us trying to control every aspect of our daily lives. Perfectionists, with calendars full to the brim, often try to impose their standards on others, which leads to frustration and tension. As Mel Robbins notes, this need for control can be a source of chronic stress and burnout.

People who have strong control over not only their own actions, but also those of others, feel let down and sometimes cheated, which significantly increases their stress level and makes them take on all the problems themselves, even though it is not their fault for the rearranged circumstances.

Controllers very often overdo their actions, also trying to unconsciously control the lives of others to be as "perfect" as their own. As experts explain, such a strong attempt to control many aspects can affect not only mental health, but also physical health.

LET THEM – two words that change perspective

Mel Robbins offers “Let Them Theory,” encouraging us to accept the fact that we have no control over everything. Her message is simple:

- Stop wasting your energy trying to make other people live up to YOUR expectations. Let THEM show you who they really are. Then YOU choose what to do next.

The LET THEM method helps you achieve peace of mind

Mel Robbins suggests using two simple words, “let them,” which should be said whenever something unexpected happens that we have no control over. This is a great way to overcome your fears and worries, which can ultimately bring liberating results and significantly reduce stress.

How to forgive others and... yourself?

For people who love to control the situation, this is quite a challenge. However, it is always worth trying to work on yourself. As Robbins argues, if someone suddenly postpones a meeting, then... let them do it. You can always reschedule it and use the free time to relax.

If your husband forgets to take his laundry out of the washer after being reminded, let him. It's his problem that he won't have shirts ready, not yours.

If someone close to you is making difficult decisions, other than the ones you've convinced them to make, let them. After all, you've told them about your concerns and recommendations, but it's not your concern what the consequences of someone else's decisions will be.

Keep your energy to yourself

As experts argue, getting too involved in the lives of others and trying to persuade them to act according to your scheme not only creates misunderstandings in communication or relationships, but also has an emotional impact on everyone. It is a waste of energy that could be invested in your own well-being.

- At its core, this mindset shift is about freeing yourself from attachment to what you can’t control—the opinions, judgments, limiting beliefs, and actions of other people. Instead of wasting your energy trying to change, convince, or seek approval from others, you turn your focus inward. You rebuild your energy by redirecting it to what really matters: your own choices, feelings, and boundaries, adds Jo Irving, life coach and meditation teacher.

Let others be themselves and yourself too

The LET THEM theory assumes complete renunciation of control. However, there are situations in which control is necessary. The forerunner of this trend emphasizes that in a moment of danger or threat to life, one cannot allow others to make their choices if they may turn out to be tragic in consequences.

However, the “let them” method can be very liberating in everyday situations. It is not only about giving others freedom, but also about regaining your own. Not worrying about things that you have no influence over and not taking on problems that do not concern you. However, mentors emphasize that no such method works straight away. It takes time and consistency for new habits to start working. However, it is worth taking up this challenge and allowing others to be themselves and yourself too, even if it means various types of changes. They can also be good.