Social intelligence: Typical characteristics of people with low social skills

As social beings, humans are highly dependent on communicating, understanding, and coordinating with others. Most individuals therefore possess the ability to do these things—although not all people are equally capable.

In the 1920s, American psychologist Edward Lee Thorndike was one of the first to use the term social intelligence to describe how successful, adept, and intelligent an individual interacts with others. In the 2000s, Daniel Goleman, also a psychologist and science journalist, wrote a book entitled "Social Intelligence," which continues to shape our understanding of this term to this day.

While socially intelligent people generally do not stand out in our interactions, or we tend to find them pleasant and likeable, people with a low level of social skills can stand out here and there – for example, through the following characteristics.

Characteristics of people with low social intelligence 1. You are not listening properly.

For many people with comparatively low social intelligence, this is associated with a lack of interest in others – and the associated inability to listen attentively. These individuals are usually more self-centered than average, with their thoughts and feelings primarily focused on themselves. Therefore, people with low social skills often lack not only the interest but also the necessary mental capacity and patience to understand how others are feeling and what they have to say.

Anyone who repeatedly looks at their mobile phone during a conversation or points to the table next to them or shows other signs of being distracted, who frequently interrupts to talk about themselves or does not answer any questions or react to what is being said, clearly meets the criteria of a poor listener - and displays a typical characteristic of low social intelligence.

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2. They do not notice or feel ashamed when they behave inappropriately.

Social intelligence enables us, among other things, to perceive nonverbal cues and sense the moods and emotions of those around us. People with low social skills generally struggle with this. As a result, they often don't notice when they're talking too much or behaving inappropriately in some other way. They joke at the wrong times and then get annoyed at others and their lack of humor when no one laughs – instead of feeling ashamed and questioning themselves.

3. They are easily offended.

People with low social intelligence often have only a weak awareness that different people have different interests and perspectives and that, for this reason, things don't always go their way. If they can't get their way, they feel disadvantaged; if someone doesn't agree with them, they view it as a personal attack.

People with low social intelligence usually live with the basic feeling that others intend to harm them and treat them with hostility and competition rather than solidarity and compassion. For this reason, they tend to be distrustful and react quickly and emotionally.

4. For them there is only black and white.

Although as humans we must draw boundaries and use categories to organize our thoughts and imaginations, as a species we are a good example of one of life's successful principles: diversity. As individuals, we differ not only in our hair color, size, and smell, but also in what we like to eat, what word we choose for a wire-haired dachshund, why we cry or laugh, and who we love—and tomorrow we may suddenly tick differently in all of these respects than we did the day before yesterday. We are diverse and changeable in so many ways that we constantly remind ourselves that our categories can only be dynamic entities without sharp boundaries, which we are always ready to expand.

People with low social intelligence generally fail to recognize this diversity and changeability. They are usually very radical in their judgments and vehemently adhere to their own categories. This is another reason why they have trouble making compromises and showing genuine interest in their fellow human beings.

Sources used: spektrum.de, soft-skills.com, blog-neuronation.com, hackspirit.com

sus Brigitte

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